Saturday, May 3, 2014

Ten ways to know that you're a nineties child*


1. You can’t keep straight whether Utah and Hawaii are states or not.
2. You laugh when a woman tells you she’s going to go voting.
3. Your money-making plan involves mining gold in Yukon’s Klondike region.
4. You still haven’t gotten around to picking a side in the Pulitzer-Hearst rivalry.
5. Whenever someone refers to “The Good War”, you assume they’re talking about the Spanish-American war.
6. You still think of Teddy Roosevelt as the Secretary of the Navy.
7. You can’t stand all the Irish pouring into the country.
8. You still haven’t gotten over the evil Spaniard imperialists exploding the U.S.S. Maine.
9. Your “Free Dreyfuss Now!” T-shirt is still in your closet.
10. You still hope that your colonies in Asia and Africa could someday turn a profit.

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