Chemistry study notes

Acid: Any substance with a pH of under 7, which is only really interesting if the word “blaster” is placed directly after it.

Scientific method: A logical and rational means for observing natural phenomena that, while being a very effective way to go about getting factual information with scientific merit, isn’t exactly a recipe for having a good time.

Combustion reactions: One of the five main types of chemical reactions, usually involving a reaction between molecules of various parts oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon, living proof that even the science behind blowing stuff up is boring.

Plastic: Kind of hard to believe that all of your beloved childhood toys are made out of a byproduct of super-compressed, long-dead plant life, isn’t it?

Electricity: Pretty much the same as acid, minus the pH part.

Types of chemical changes

- Freezing: Easy, it’s when something gets cold and turns solid.

- Melting: I’ve got this one too, it’s when something turns solid to liquid.

- Evaporation: Uh, I remember learning this in kindergarten. Don’t happy little bubbles turn into clouds or something?

- Boiling: Doesn’t this only work with water?

- Condensation: What?

- Sublimation: Okay, now you’re just messing with me.

Alchemy: Pretty legit.

Artistic license: If writers and painters and poets can use this, why can’t scientists?

Hydrogen: The most plentiful element that can be found all over the universe.

Flerovium: An extremely unstable element only ever created in a lab setting, most of which decays in 2.8 seconds. In other words, a loser element that no one ever heard of who should really be thinking of better ways to be more like hydrogen.

Fire: Another one of those fun blaster words.

Spider man: He’s not in chemistry either? COME ON PEOPLE, HE’S A NERD THAT GOT BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER!!! HOW MUCH MORE SCIENCEY DOES HE NEED TO BE FOR US TO FREAKING LEARN ABOUT HIM?!?! Oh well, maybe he’ll pop up in biology next year.

Democritus: Gosh, if he’d been right about atoms being super small marbles that don’t have any smaller parts, this class would have been so much easier.

J.J. Thompson: An english scientist whose extremely useful work on the road to the modern atomic theory is downplayed by the fact that the only thing anyone can remember about him is that he did something that had to do with plum pudding.

Double replacement reaction: A rare chemical term that cannot be made interesting, even when words such as “blaster”, “ray”, or “hyper-explosion gun” are placed after it.