Thousands of attendees at the Farrand Comic Con this morning reported seeing a beaming Jeb Bush walking through the crowd of cosplayers, vendors, and spectators, shaking hands and smiling at everyone whom he passed, apparently mistaking the event for the Republican National Convention, which was held almost a month ago in the city of Cleveland.
Sources confirmed that the failed Republican presidential candidate was in a deliriously good mood, greeting the comic book and video game enthusiasts with hearty sentiments like, “Good to see young, spirited men like yourself supported the party,” or simply, “God bless America.”
When the press cornered the Republican-establishment favorite, Bush explained, “Well, I haven’t been following the news lately, for obvious reasons, but a few days ago I was passing through Dallas, and I read that they were having the convention right here in Farrand, and I figured I just had to come. And good thing I did! It’s great to see so many hip, young, flamboyantly costumed Republican voters!”
Bush then walked over to an obese gentleman in a Game of Thrones t-shirt and said, “Christie, how’re ya doing these days?”
Roughly an hour later, the press found the Florida governor deeply immersed in conversation with a young woman dressed as a Pikachu. After the woman, who had a yellow painted face and tall, triangular ears glued to her head, had finished describing the technical details of Pokemon battling statistics, Bush nodded knowingly and said, “I must say, ma’am, that is one of the most complex and nuanced allegories for the hole Obama’s rampant welfare spending has left us in!”
“I’ll be honest with you,” said a brightly smiling Bush in an impromptu speech he held after accidentally wandering onstage during a panel on the film Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, “I had a dark view of the way this party was headed after dropping out of the race. I thought the GOP was full of fearful, angry, and, frankly, irrational Trumpians. But now, seeing young, vibrant, unusually colorful crowd of conservatives, I know that our party is headed in the right direction!”
His speech was greeted by sarcastic applause and an immediate removal by security guards.
As the Republican establishment favorite was leaving for the day, a man dressed up as the popular Marvel comics character Deadpool asked Bush, “Hey, aren’t you that guy from the news, the president guy?”
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