In an unprecedented breaching of basic human logic, area man Paul Kathin actually uttered the words “Happy Tuesday” to neighbor Gareth Larson.
“It was so strange!” recounted Larson to a crowd of his friends and loved ones who flocked to him to hear of the whimsical and absurd experience. “I walked by when he was mowing his lawn. I said hi. Then he turned around and said ‘Happy Tuesday’! I tried to stay calm on the inside, but my head was flooding with questions. Why had he told me happy Tuesday? Was this Tuesday anything special? Or was today some bizarre holiday that I hadn’t heard of before?”
Experts confirmed that, while the day in question was in fact Tuesday, there was no reason in particular to celebrate it. In fact, studies indicate that Kathin would have been less likely to celebrate that day than any other day, as he had 32% more work that the previous day and had recently gotten in an argument with his wife.”
“Maybe he’s one of those optimistic guys who always tries to stay positive. I sure hope not. Wow, I can’t believe that I’ve been living next door to a weirdo like this for almost a decade.”
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