It doesn’t take a genius to know that they don’t teach math, science, logic, or really anything other than making movies in film school. Even the most beloved films are actually based around plots that anyone could tell you MAKE NO SENSE!
1. The Toy Story Trilogy: Everyone knows the classic tale of Woody, Buzz, and the gang. One of the most critically acclaimed and commercially successful kids film series of all time, what’s not to love? Well, for one thing, the fact that it could never happen in real life! The guys over at pixar might not have figured it out yet, but toys simply don’t come to life. It’s true! To prove this, we used hidden cameras to film a box full of toys for literally thousands of hours. And after looking through that footage, none of it gave firm evidence that toys were sentient or even alive. Maybe John Lasseter and the rest of his dim-witted animators should spend less time on plot and visual and more on scientific research.
2. The Princess Bride: A cult classic, many people only see the candy coated fantasy portrayed rather than the logical reality. The movie is sprinkled with magic and other clearly fictitious concepts, but the real kicker comes near the climax when Buttercup’s love of Weasley brings him back to life. Despite thousand of attempts, true love has never brought any human heart beating again, nor has it ever actually had any positive effects for that matter.
3. The Hunger Games: Many fans around the world praised the movie and book series as a stunning satire of American society, oblivious to the obvious fact that it could never actually happen. Obviously Susan Collins never took a fifth-grade level government class, or she would know that this futuristic America of hers could never take place. For one thing, the government sanctioned death-fights of the Hunger Games are clearly in violation of the 8th amendment. Not to mention that President Snow would have long ago had to retire with the mandated cap of 2 presidential terms.
4. Gravity: Here’s a message for Alfonso Cuaron: It’s not the 1960s anymore. Had he spent less time bloating his movie with over-the-top graphics and more time researching his subjects, he’d know that space travel has been proven impossible. The so-called “Moon landing” of 1969 was exposed as a hoax years ago. All manned spacecrafts have been blasted down by Zeus's lightning, for the king of the gods does not trust mortal to enter the heavens. Seriously, Hollywood, get a clue.
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