Op-Ed: Well, I Didn’t Think it Would Come to This, But I Guess I Have to Take Down the Trump Campaign With a Strongly Worded Blog Post

I guess you can’t say we didn’t see it coming. For this entire election season, Trump’s egotistic blathering has dominated the news cycle, made him the Republican Nominee, and now it looks like he has a good chance of becoming the nation’s next president. I suppose in my heart of hearts I knew it would come to this. Now I have no choice but to obliterate the Trump campaign with a polite but firm open letter on my blog.

Believe me, I take no pleasure in this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Our nation is on the brink of electing a thin-skinned narcissist as the Commander-in-Chief of the world’s greatest military superpower. To think that foreign policy decisions could be made, based only on the whims of this demagogue? It’s enough to bring me to write a critical evaluation of his short-sighted policy goals, and thereby shatter the billionaire celebrity’s army of supporters.

Soon, sentences like, “As a lifelong moderate conservative, it pains me to see my party forsake so many of its beloved principles like small government and adherence to the constitution in the name of Trump,” and, “I have no love for Hillary Clinton, but her government experience and general composure put her head and shoulders above Trump,” will decimate Trump’s mass following and cripple him, financially, politically, and emotionally, for life.

The elegance of my plan is that I won’t stoop to the same kind of mudslinging and superficial slander that Trump indulges in. The pure fury of my 500 word discussion of ideas will be even more powerful without his dirty tricks.

I may even title the post on my Blogger page, “An Open Letter to Donald J. Trump,” just so he knows it is directed directly at him. But perhaps this would be too strong a blow. I don’t mean him any harm, it hurts me to permanently scar a man, even an evil man, in the way this blog post will scar him.

You may ask me, “How can a blog post succeed where the establishment of both parties, countless scathing news articles, and general common sense have failed?” Do not fear, fair reader, because none of them have what I do: twenty three subscribers, plus a cousin who used to intern with a state Senator who might pass my article around to people in high places.

Enjoy these, your last few hours of political relevance, Donald Trump. By the time the sun is set, a blog post beginning with, “I don’t usually talk about political stuff here, but there’s something that I feel like really needs to be discussed,” will have rotted your dignity and annihilated your power.