While the construction crew working on the 30 million dollar additions to Edina High School reports being ahead of schedule on the new athletic facilities and classroom accommodations for 9th graders, they also reported unexpected troubles in their creation of a 300 foot tall stone idol shaped like a chromebook for all staff and students to worship and glorify.
“We’ve been working around the clock to get our Great and Wrathful God of Technology and 21st Century Learning Skills up and running, but we’ve had some pretty major problems,” said High Cleric Nick Settich, sent from Google headquarters to oversee the creation of the massive god, which will be located in the media center. “Particularly, there have been some difficulties in building the altar where three cattle and a virgin will be sacrificed to the All-Seeing, All-Knowing Father of All the Internet every collaborative time.”
The administration has also reported difficulties in incorporating the gigantic stone idol.
Starting around this winter, we’d like to schedule daily three hours prayers and computer skills lessons,” said Erika Kelly, a newly hired media center employee/occult priestess. “But how should we rearrange the schedule? Do we shorten classtime or just cut the first three periods from every class day?”
Starting around this winter, we’d like to schedule daily three hours prayers and computer skills lessons,” said Erika Kelly, a newly hired media center employee/occult priestess. “But how should we rearrange the schedule? Do we shorten classtime or just cut the first three periods from every class day?”
To sort out all the logistical and practical problems of erecting the 7,000 ton statue and scheduling time to pay tribute to it, the Edina Public Schools system is asking taxpayers for another 80 million dollars, which will be on a referendum this fall and is expected to pass.
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