The Setup
Eddie the Ex-patriot Elephant Jr. was sitting by himself in preschool, coloring with crayons, when a bloodcurdling scream was heard. Eddie Jr. rushed over.
He found the scream had come from Alex the Anti-establishment Anteater Jr.! “What’s wrong?” Eddie Jr. asked him.
“Someone stole my favorite pencil,” screeched Alex Jr., “And I will continue screaming until I find out who took it!”
“Well, you’re my best friend and I can’t stand to hear you scream,” said the brave, 5-year-old Mammal, “I will to take down whoever stole your pencil in bloody vengeance!”
Alex Jr. screamed in joy.
Eddie Jr. rounded up three suspects. One was a classmate, Winston the War-hawk Walrus Jr., who hated Alex Jr. due to a decades-old blood feud between their families. Terrance the Transcendentalist Teacher was their teacher and he had been angry at the world ever since Ralph Waldo Emerson died, and took it out his students. Lastly, Sarah the Sadist Symbionese Liberation Army Veteran Jr. just liked stealing things from her wealthier classmates.
The Solution
After a number of half-baked theories and violent accusals, Eddie Jr. found out that the pencil had just been lost the whole time! That was poor compensation, however, for the number of injuries that had been inflicted upon his classmates while in search of his fiery revenge. It also did little to rebuild the wing of the school Eddie burnt down or free him from juvenile hall from his numerous crimes.
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