Thursday, January 14, 2016

America Pretty Happy to Finally Have a Common Enemy in Trump

Following Donald J. Trump’s highly controversial comments over the past months, people, communities, and organizations around the nation reported feeling “pretty great” that they finally had a common enemy to complain about and work against.
“It’s been a long time since the nation has agreed nearly unanimously on anything at all. Having everyone in consensus that a major political candidate’s views are horrifying is a nice change of pace,” said Andrew Allegro, an accountant from Farrand, Texas, echoing the feeling of pleasant unanimity expressed by other such sources as President Barack Obama, The National Council of Chess Players, The Church of Latter Day Saints, Senator Jeff Sessions, Amco Chair Manufacturers, the city of Detroit, Michigan, Squeg Valley piano tuner Alfred Pinto, and much of the Republican Party.
“Seriously,” said Allegro, “it’s super swell to be able to bring up politics with coworkers, friends, family, farmers, minorities, my religious community, middle schoolers, vagrants, or virtually any combination of American citizens at all, and be able to agree on our blinding hatred of Mr. Trump.”
At press time cartoonist Stephen Patsis, the Elron family, the entire state of New York, most Huffington Post commenters, business manager Rebecca Telse, and more remained completely baffled as to how Trump was still the Republican frontrunner despite his controversial comments offending Muslims, immigrants, women, and, well, pretty much everybody.

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