Think you're a big fan of the Edina Football team? Well, find out by seeing how many of these famous games you've been to.
[ ]. The one where the band forgot to stop playing.
[ ]. The one where the commentator forgot how football worked.
[ ]. The one we lost, but that didn't matter since the true meaning of football is to homogenize the community into an ambiguous whole with a fervent hatred for the other team.
[ ]. The one that took place under water.
[ ]. The one that took place in space.
[ ]. The one that took place atop a gigantic 2003 Nintendo GameCube.
[ ]. The one where everyone was so filled with existentialist horror that no game was actually played.
[ ]. The one we won.
[ ]. The one that was a perfect encapsulation of survival of the fittest.
[ ]. The one that never happened, but everyone claims happened because they do not want to face the truth of what happened that night.
[ ]. The one that, in the grand scheme of things, didn't really matter.
[ ]. The one where a mysterious player in an Edina uniform grabbed the ball, ran through the end zone, then just kept running.
[ ]. The one with a very polite and modest streaker.
[ ]. The one where the audience had to sit perfectly still and be silent so they could truly enjoy the game.
[ ]. The one that I left sad and alone. Sad and alone. Sad and alone. Sad and alone. Sad and alone.
